Just when you think that Yelp could not get any worse, I’ve discovered another path of destructive Yelpers who are… wait for it… Yelping about places of worship! That’s right. Even with the separation of Church and State, apparently Yelpers think that their reviews will be the “arms length distance” between the two.
Meet Maria A. It seems that Maria is in need of some enlightenment. However she chooses to find in through her written Yelp paragraphs. If Yelp were a bible, she would want to have her own section. So this one is from the book of Maria A., and the “A” could only mean “ASININE.”
Maria writes about her experience at a Jewish temple in Beverly Hills.
“Came here to do an observation study (ethnographic research) . I went on a Saturday morning. The people here seem very materialistic with their apperal, cologne, perfumes, and fancy cars they bought off credit. It was someones Bar/T Mitzva this day which was interesting.”— First off, she claims to be some sort of student of cultural studies, but yet Maria misspelled apparel, and bar mitzvah? And how does she know the cars were bought with credit? She must have done a silent survey with the crowd.
“What really annoyed me the most, was how half the time the leaders or rabbi’s ( i think) were auctioning…yes…AUCTIONING for having the honor of coming up to the podium and holding the Torah or saying a grace or prayer. I witnessed one man who bid $500 dollars for his wife to go up and hold the Torah for about 5 min. (Thats $100 per min btw).”–Again, she claims to be this “student” yet she doesn’t know who leads a Jewish congregation. But I will admit, I would like to see an auction like that. “Up next in the auction, a chance to hold an actual Torah, rumored to have been looked at by Moses himself. Do I hear 500 dollars?” But Maria does know her math…
“The main auditorium has multi-million dollar glass chandeliers..like 4 of them.”–-Maria is a student of culture, AND multi-million dollar interior design.
“This place reminded me of bible study when Jesus Christ threw a tantrum when he saw the Jews doing business in the holy temple.”—I grew up Catholic, and I don’t remember the part of the Bible where Jesus threw a tantrum. “I told you Jews, no business in the Holy Temple!”
“I also suggest the IRS should look into this, because one of the Persian women told me that this occurs every Saturday.”—So now Maria’s a whistle-blower. And now all the cologne and BMW’s should make sense to her. They’re Persian.
“In the end, +1 star for the excellent food provided at the end of the ceremony.”—I’m surprised she didn’t review the food as well. So she was offended, but not enough to turn down the food?
“But I will not be coming back here again because I feel like this is not a real place to worship one’s faith. I believe there are other Jewish synagogues that are true to their faith and practice good ethics, and moral behaviors in their place of worship.”
—Meaning she won’t be back because she’s too busy reviewing other synagogues, churches, and mosques.
Until next time… Server’s don’t pay their rent with compliments.
“Bitter. Party of 1? Your table is ready.”
The Bitter Bistro
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