I am the leader of the server revolution! Taking the power away from the customers and putting it back in the hands of the bartenders and servers. Yelp off!!!
The service industry is a pain-in-the-ass. Writing this blog is a pain-in-the-ass. Some “friends” are a pain-in-the-ass. But as my wife has told me, if I don’t put up with some asses, then I will be all alone in this world, with no one to bitch about all of the pain-in-the-asses that I used to have to deal with on a constant basis.
“How is everything?” I asked a husband and wife last night.
“The food is wonderful, but the music is awful,” she declared. “It’s no wonder why you’re not busy on a Saturday night. Who picks the music?”
“The Lord. And he likes customers who tip.”
I have also decided one of the ways that I am going to quit my job. There is a huge wall in the front of the restaurant, and it is decorated with a bunch of pictures. I am going to summon my inner monkey and poop into my hand, and write the words, “I QUIT !!!” on the wall in poop. Gross, I know, but effective!
The best part would be to see the reaction of my supervisor when he sees the wall for the first time, and trying to figure out who and why.
“Somebody quit?” as he points to the wall. “And they wrote on the wall?” He walks towards the wall. “Oh no! Is that?” Places hand over mouth and nose. “Somebody wrote I quit… in shit?!?… I gotta get this cleaned up!” He walks away with his hands flailing.
Writing about what happens to me while working in the service industry has been fun, infuriating, and cathartic. Sometimes I can’t believe some of the stories that I write, or talk about on the podcast. I can’t believe I’ve worked in this business for 16 years. I can’t believe I’ve been at the same place now for almost 10 years. Usually when you’re at a company for that amount of time, you’re rewarded. In the service industry, you are just looked at funny.
Questions I have gotten from customers recently: Do you speak Chinese? Do you speak French? Are you from Boston? You have an accent, where are you from? How long have you lived in this country? Do you like anything on the menu? Are you an actor? Do you have a phone charger? Can I use your phone?
If you keep reading these BITTER rants and stories, I’ll keep writing. After all, I’m the biggest pain-in-the-ass there is.
Use the comment section below to say some words. And share if you like sharing. But if you read this blog, you don’t share.
Until next time… Server’s don’t pay their rent with compliments.
“Bitter. Party of 1? Your table is ready.”