I am the leader of the server revolution! Taking the power away from the customers and putting it back in the hands of the bartenders and servers. Yelp off!!!

The Union is Coming! 

union“The union is coming!  The union is coming!” shouted a short woman, wearing a funny hat, riding a horse through the halls of my work.  Okay, not on a horse, but it’s happening at my work.  17 years of working in the service industry, I’ve never worked for a union, and now, because of some co-workers looking to make waves, the union is infecting my hotel like a plague.

I understand that some people will have problems with management while working in hospitality, but that’s what managers do… give you problems in addition to the ACTUAL problems that need to be fixed.  However, this is the service industry biatches!  We are working in a business that is “at will,” meaning that YOU can leave at any time (or be fired) and go somewhere else to work.  And trust me, nobody is stopping you from leaving.

When you have that feeling that you’re alone, and nobody really likes you, you should trust that instinct.  Because nobody DOES like you.  But acting out like a troubled teenager who is upset because your parents told you “NO!” is not excuse for making the lives of the rest of your co-workers miserable.  I am already miserable at my work, I don’t need your help making me more miserable.

Sorry you couldn’t take your break when we were busy, or that you didn’t have all of the supplies that you needed at that time, or that you couldn’t resolve your problems through human resources, AND that you have to leave the floor to take a dumps all the time.  Which, by-the-way, if I’ve had any issues that I couldn’t resolve on my own, I went to human resources and I found a solution.  And if I didn’t find a solution to my liking, I compromised when needed.  After all, it’s a business, and businesses don’t need a bunch of whiny crackwhores infecting the rest of the employees.

Unfortunately, because of people like “Smelly” and “Greedy”, union reps are at my work like herpes at a bad fraternity party.  They hang around the employee cafeteria, forcing conversations with us, all while I’m trying to eat the crappy cafeteria food. Hey union reps, you want my vote? How about bringing the In-N-Out trucks to my break? That will get me to listen. But here’s what they did instead:

Last Friday, at 10am, two union reps showed up at my house unannounced. I would have not answered the door, but my wife told me that they were at the house the day before when I wasn’t home. She didn’t answer the door but she recognized them. I answered the door and greeted them with a friendly, “What the f&@k do you want?”

“We didn’t get a chance to talk to you the other day at work,” they said.

“That’s because I was busy working.”

“We thought we could talk to you right now,” the woman said.  Then out-of-nowhere, my dog opened the front door, ran out, scared and jumped on the woman, and ran back inside.

“My dog does that when she feels threatened,” I explained.  “But I don’t want to talk to you here.  You can talk to me at work.”

“You are so busy at work.  It’s hard to try to catch you on your break.”

“That’s because I’m avoiding you.  But this was a good talk.  I’m satisfied.  Leave.”

“We don’t mean any disrespect,” they said.

“But you did, disrespect me by showing up at my house.  So now you’ve influenced me to vote against the union.  See how that works.  Good-bye!”

They finally left.  And I got a pic of them and their car with license number.  You never know when you need to report suspicious behavior to the neighborhood watch, or NextDoor.com.

Until next time… Server’s don’t pay their rent with compliments.
“Bitter.  Party of 1?  Your table is ready.”







Leave a reply