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Sarah Silverman Told Us Not To Be Late

clockI can officially add “Customer Time Management” to the long list of jobs that I have to be good at as well as being your server.  I can understand if you are in a hurry, and need a quick bite to eat.  I’ll steer you in the right direction on the menu, “rush” your order with the kitchen, have your bill ready to go, and (PRESTO!) you’re on your way.  But when you tell me that you’re waiting for two other friends, and then you order appetizers separately from entrees, and then one person finally shows but the other person hasn’t arrived yet… Now you’re wasting MY TIME.

A husband and wife were waiting for their two friends to arrive before they had to leave by 9 to go see Sarah Silverman at the theater across the street.  (Keep in mind that they arrived to their 7pm reservation at 7:30pm.)

Like I said, they started out with cocktails and some apps while they waited for the arrival of their friends.  One friend shows up, she orders an app and a drink, and the waiting for the last friend continued.  The apps were eaten, more drinks were ordered, and the waiting still continued for the last friend.

I was watching over the table while talking to our food runner when the guy gets up from the table, comes up to me and demands that I take their entree order.  Keep in mind that the last friend STILL hadn’t arrived.

I take their entree orders, put them into the kitchen with a “rush” order, and watch as the two ladies at the table are having a great time drinking and talking, while the guy is fuming.
balkyOur wannabe “maitre’d” walks over to the table and talks to the fuming man.  Later, “Balky”, our maitre’d, mumbles something to me about them wanting to pay the check before they get their entrees so they can leave.

I take the check over to the man, and he explodes.

“I TOLD YOU WE HAD TO LEAVE BY 9PM!” Keep in mind that it was 8:50pm.

“You told me that you were waiting for your friend, who still hasn’t arrived.  That’s why I didn’t take your entree orders until you asked me,” I argued.

“She’s not coming,” the wife drunkenly replied.

“I get that now,” I answered.

Then the man angrily throws his black AMX into the check presenter and yells, “We didn’t even get our entrees but you are still charging me for them!?!  JUST FORGET IT AND RUN THE CARD!”

“Balky told me that you wanted to pay before you got your meals.”

“We don’t have time for that!  I told you we had to leave by 9pm!  We are seeing Sarah Silverman, and she starts at 9!”

I took the check, removed the entrees, and ran his ego-inflated-black AMX.  I could hear his wife scolding him for yelling at me, but then she agreed with him about telling me they had to leave by 9pm.

“I apologize for any miscommunication.  You had told me that you were going to wait for your friend,” I said.

“But she’s not coming,” the wife drunkenly interrupted me again.

At this point, I realized why the other friend didn’t come.  These people are assholes.  “At least the theater is right across the street.  And comics never go on exactly on time,” I stated.

“The theater won’t let you in if you’re late!!!!” the man blurted out.

“Then I’m doing you a favor.  Sarah Silverman sucks!”

Until next time… Server’s don’t pay their rent with compliments.

“Bitter.  Party of 1?  Your table is ready.”








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