I am the leader of the server revolution! Taking the power away from the customers and putting it back in the hands of the bartenders and servers. Yelp off!!!

Phone Charging Not Part of My Job

phoneThe next time you’re out at a restaurant, bring 800 dollars with you.  And when you are sat, IMMEDIATELY hand the money over to your server, and then continue on with your meal like as if you had forgotten about the money.  This is exactly what happens every time a customer asks their server to charge their phone.  Why would you want to hand over an expensive item that contains personal, private information on it?  That is why I have adopted a firm policy that I won’t accept phones, and also, I don’t want to charge your phone for you.

“Do you have a phone charger?” a girl asked.

“No,” I replied.

“My phone is dead.  I need to charge it,” she cried.

“There’s a gas station across the street.  They probably sell phone chargers,” I answered.

“Can’t you charge my phone somewhere?” she continued.

“I already told you I don’t have a charger, and I don’t want to be responsible for your phone.  Would you like to hear the specials?”

I’ve seen too many restaurants cater to these types of needy customers.  Bringing chargers to tables, or taking phones to the server’s side station where it is so crowded that it looks like the charging kiosk at the airport.  We should do away with cell phones in restaurants.  Instead, if you needed to make a phone call, you have to have the host bring an old school rotary phone to the table with a very long phone cord.  That way, everybody can see what a jackass you are.

Here’s an idea, why not actually have a conversation with the people that you are sitting with you?  I know it pains you to miss out on clicking your usual 20 “likes” per minute on Instagram, but social media will still be there when dinner is done.  Instead of showing your date a pic of your boobs, you can show him in person.

One time, before my policy, a customer asked me to charge his phone.  I reluctantly did.  Over the course of his meal, he had asked me at least 3 times to bring him his phone so he could make phone calls, or check his messages.  It finally ended with me bringing him his charger and his check.  He said, “I’m not done charging my phone.”

“It should be charged,” I replied.

“It’s because I was on the phone.  It didn’t charge.”

“Well, we tried.  Have a great day.” I said.

“I need to charge my phone.  Where can I charge it?” he demanded.

“There’s a gas station across the street.  They probably have outlets.”

Until next time… Server’s don’t pay their rent with compliments.
“Bitter.  Party of 1?  Your table is ready.”








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