I am the leader of the server revolution! Taking the power away from the customers and putting it back in the hands of the bartenders and servers. Yelp off!!!
The ideas are a-flowing to bring more business restaurants. I always appreciate any effort to help put money into my pockets, but sometimes the ideas are worse than no business at all. Right now, at my restaurant, the PR team has gone into their think tank and come out with something that not only doesn’t bring in business, but also does the thing that annoys me the most: It doesn’t make me any money.
Their plan: Bring in Hot/ Skinny/ Annoying girls to eat and drink for free in the restaurant, with the idea that people will see them and say, “Wow! If Hot/ Skinny/ Annoying girls eat at this place, then not only is the food good, it will make you look Hot/ Skinny/ and Annoying. I want what they have!” And yes, it is possible to look “annoying.”
The other night, the HSA girls sat in my section. Never once was there a “thank-you,” a “please,” or a “Would you please direct me to the bathroom so I can stick my finger down my throat” from any of these girls. It was more like,
“Where is the bread?”
“We need more drinks!”
“Why is the service so slow?”
And this was on a Saturday night, so we were busy in the restaurant. My priorities shifted to the guests who were ACTUALLY paying for their food and drink, so they deserved to have great service. The only thing that the HSA girls deserved was to have some cheeseburgers. Seriously, they need to eat. To quote a line from one of my favorite movies, Mr. Mom, these girls are so skinny, “they can hula-hoop with a Cheerio.”
Until next time… Server’s don’t pay their rent with compliments.
“Bitter. Party of 1? Your table is ready.”