I am the leader of the server revolution! Taking the power away from the customers and putting it back in the hands of the bartenders and servers. Yelp off!!!
Customers are SO important these days! They only have a set amount of time to be seated, have drinks, order and eat their meals, and then, INSTANTLY, the must be on their important way. And it doesn’t just happen to me, this tweet was from another “bittered” service industry worker, Bitter Waiter.
MAY I HAVE EVERYONE’S ATTENTION the lady at table 43 is IN A HURRY so could we please focus solely on her? Imagine, having somewhere to go!!
— Bitter Waiter (@bitterwaiter) April 20, 2017
Just the other night, I had a table of 11 with a 7:00 reservation. I set up their big table outside, which meant moving four smaller tables together because no restaurant has a table big enough to seat a party that size. I Polished all of the glassware and silverware, put bread on the table at 7:15 because that’s what they instructed in the reservation notes. And almost by magic… they didn’t show up until 7:30 without even calling to let us know that they would be late or would even be showing up at this point. But customers are the celebrities of the restaurant world. They’re important and don’t need to extend such courtesies to us peons.
The party arrived in all of the glamour that their Capri pants and cankles could muster. They sat and immediately grazed on the pre-set bread and demanded that their drink orders be taken because they, “were thirsty, and had been walking all day.” I couldn’t imagine what that must be like. To be able to walk “all day,” and still look as well fed as they did. I truly was in the presence of Gods and Goddesses. I IMMEDIATELY took their drink order and brought them their libations.
Their salad course arrived quickly because they had pre-ordered them through the reservation notes that they wrote on Open Table to ensure that they would be in-charge of their dining experience rather than me. The majority of them chose to not eat their greenery as they were much bigger fans of the bread food group, rather than the vegetable. Again, a quality that I admire because I always like it when people can make a decision, and stand by it.
But now things got a bit rocky. I was approached by one of the customers, and he said, “We are in a hurry. We need to get to the mall before they close at 9:30pm. And it’s 9:05pm right now. We are going to need our entrees and desserts immediately so we can go!.” I apologized for not knowing that they had SOMEWHERE else to go, and went to the kitchen to find out why the cooks were taking so long with their food that hadn’t been ordered yet.
Fortunately the entrees were the same as everything else. It was done according to the script they wrote in the reservation notes. It was 3 entrees picked off of our menu, served family style on the middle of the table, in the vein of a trough. When I asked how everybody was doing, I was met with joyous grunts and waved off like the peasant that I was. Halfway through their meal, another person approached me about their date with the mall. I apologized to her for the mall closing at such a horrific time, and was instructed to get the desserts out as quickly as possible.
I quietly cleared their plates, and replaced them magically with a small dessert plate with some sweets on them. The sweets disappeared and soon, so did the important customers.
I wondered if I would ever see such IMPORTANT-NESS again.
Until next time… Server’s don’t pay their rent with compliments.
“Bitter. Party of 1? Your table is ready.”