I am the leader of the server revolution! Taking the power away from the customers and putting it back in the hands of the bartenders and servers. Yelp off!!!

Chump Change

Gratuities are always appreciated.  But if you are giving merely to empty your pockets of change, then perhaps you should unload it into a parking meter rather than onto your server.  Give me a break!  Change?  I can’t even buy a pack of gum with the amount that was given above.  Just like my buddy Josh would say whenever he got tips like this when he was behind the bar, he would push the money back to the guest and say, “try again!”
If it makes noise, then it’s not the kind of tip I want.  It’s not the tip that anybody in the service industry wants.  And if that is all the money you have left to tip with, then I suggest you try to switch the change for bills, (or in this case, BILL,) so you don’t add insult to injury.  That way, you’re just a bad tipper, not a jerk.
Now that you’ve given me this change for a tip, where the hell am I going to put that money?  I now had to walk around the rest of my shift like a “homeless Tambourine-Man,”  (Thank you Marc Franco,)  because I didn’t have a coin purse to put the change into.  Although it would come in handy if I was going to go to the arcade after work.  Wait a minute… there aren’t anymore fricking arcades. 
So thanks a lot “Chump Changer!”  Tipped with change, AND there aren’t anymore arcades!  I’ll remember you the next time you come in.  It will be easy since I’ll hear you coming a mile away.
So if you can’t tear it, then don’t share it.  Save your change for the next time you’re at the slot machines.

Until next time… Server’s don’t pay their rent with compliments.

“Bitter.  Party of 1?  Your table is ready.”

The Bitter Bistro

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2 Responses to Chump Change

  1. I just discovered your blog and am thoroughly enjoying myself.
    I worked with a young, super fructosely sweet girl who got a bandini mountain of change from a four top of Sanka guzzling geezers one night. She scooped up what coinage she could fit in her petite little hand and hurled it at the Oldsmobuick the offenders were driving while they were pulling out of the parking lot. I have always wondered what the sound of coins raining down on a landau roof sounded like…

    P.S.
    The owner didn't fire her because she truly was an honest sweetheart!

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