I am the leader of the server revolution! Taking the power away from the customers and putting it back in the hands of the bartenders and servers. Yelp off!!!

5 Ways to Know You’ve Been #servingtoolong

As I write this I shudder to think that I have worked in the service industry for 15 years.  (Maybe more.)  But you would never ask a woman her age, and the same goes for anyone who works in the service industry.  There’s no promotion.  There’s rarely any benefits.  So there sure as hell is no way that I have made a living for as long as I have waiting on people.  Have I?  UHG!  What can I say… time flies when you are wishing people would go eat somewhere else.

But alas, here I am.  Sure of myself as an excellent host of whatever section I might be assigned to for the evening.  Confident behind any bar.  And able to describe any varietal of wine even though I probably have never tasted it before.

“How would you compare the Artesia Pinot Noir with the Opus Cab Sauv?” asked a lady one evening.

Me, having absolutely no clue.  “Well, the Artesia Pinot has a hint of pepper, with a finish of dark berries and vanilla.  The Opus is a full-bodied Cabernet, slightly acidic, with a long, silky finish.”

“What about the Jordan Cabernet?” she asked.

“Not as silky or acidic.”

But I can do this because I have braved the waters of the service industry for so long.  And I have noticed that I not only think like a server when I am clocked in, but also when I am not on the clock and trying to lead a normal life.

Which brings me to,

5 ways to know that you’ve been #servingtoolong

5.  When dining out in a restaurant with friends or family, you start stacking the dirty plates in neat piles so they can be cleared easily.

4.  You wake up in the middle of the night in a cold sweat because you realize you forgot to bring table 33 the other glass of wine that they ordered.

3.  You know exactly when you are going to be written up by a manager.  Even before they realize that they are going to write you up.

2.  When you get home from a trip to the grocery store, you put the newer items in the back of the fridge, and the older ones towards the front.  Basically, you rotate your own stock and mark it on your par sheet.

And lastly…

1.  When moving through a crowded room, you say “BEHIND!” when trying to pass someone, (or “PASA/ al TRAS.”)  And when going around a corner, you yell out, “CORNER!” 

I know I am not alone on this…

Until next time… Server’s don’t pay their rent with compliments.

“Bitter.  Party of 1?  Your table is ready.”

The Bitter Bistro

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