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I am the leader of the server revolution! Taking the power away from the customers and putting it back in the hands of the bartenders and servers. Yelp off!!!

A little PDA goes a long, long, way…

Many of you have asked me to blog more often about the things that people do in restaurants and bars.  I try to write about what happens as much as I can, but sometimes, I am so shocked about some of the things that I see and hear, it takes awhile for me to digest it all, and transcribe it to you.  Now that I’ve finished digesting, here you go…

I’ve noticed in many fine dining establishments, that to cleanse the palate in-between courses, they will bring you a scoop of sorbet.  It’s refreshing and gets your taste buds ready for the next course.  Here in Los Angeles, some customers have a better way of cleansing their palates… by jamming their tongues down the throats of their dinner guests.  And why not?  Don’t birds do the same thing?  One evening, I had a table of three people, one guy and two girls, who were eating on the patio at the restaurant I was working.  To say they were having a good time is an understatement.  I went out to check on them, and the guy was making out with one of the girls with the other girl sitting behind them eating.  Then they stopped making out to eat some more of their meal.  I figured the food most be fine, and their water glasses were full, so they didn’t need me to hang around the table staring at them.  So I went to the side-station to stare at them from there.  After they ate some more, the guy then turned to the other girl and started making out with her.  I think this is what athletes call carb loading.  Needless to say, this cycle continued on until the meal was complete.  A compliment to the chef… perhaps.

This would now be the time that I would offer them a dessert menu, but I figured they wanted something that wasn’t on our menu.  And lucky for the three of them, we were at a hotel, so they could get a room.  Which is what I told them when I presented the check.  And who knows, maybe the were European?  Like Clark W. Griswold said, “European standards are very different from Americans.”

Until next time… Server’s don’t pay their rent with compliments.

“Bitter.  Party of one? Your table is ready.”

The Bitter Bistro

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