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I am the leader of the server revolution! Taking the power away from the customers and putting it back in the hands of the bartenders and servers. Yelp off!!!

We’re Ready to Order!


Whenever a customer tells me that they’re ready to order, it usually means that they need another 15 minutes to decide what the hell they want.  I can understand being indecisive and having a hard time trying to decide between one or two things, but some people act like they’re picking a college.  (thanks Lou Santini.)

And then guests will ask me what I like.  I tell them three items that I really enjoy on the menu.  Then they ask me about something I didn’t mention.  I tell them it’s not in my top three.  Now I’m somehow in an argument about why I didn’t mention EVERYTHING on the menu.

Here’s how a conversation went with a table the other night:

Customer:  “We’re ready to order.”

Me:  “What may I get for you?”

Customer IMMEDIATELY looks back at the menu and says nothing for 2 minutes.

Me:  “I’ll give you another moment.”

Customer:  “That’s not necessary.  I told you that we’re ready to order!”

Me:  “Please.  What may I get for you.”

Customer:  “Don’t start with me.  Go to somebody else.”

Me:  “I can’t start with somebody else.  You’re the only one at the table.”

Until next time… Server’s don’t pay their rent with compliments.

“Bitter.  Party of 1?  Your table is ready.”


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