I am the leader of the server revolution! Taking the power away from the customers and putting it back in the hands of the bartenders and servers. Yelp off!!!
I’m standing at the table. Â My pen is in my hand and I have my notepad open. Â This is my way of telling you that it is time to order the food that you want to put in your mouth. Â It’s okay to finish your sentence, or get to the punchline of the joke that you’re telling, but it’s not okay to leave my hanging there, looking like a dumb dildo.
You came to the restaurant to eat? Â Right? Â Then why not shut your face for a second so I can get some food and drinks to the table. Â I’m not saying that you shouldn’t have a good time, reminiscing about your days as a call-girl in Miami, or as a promoter in NYC, but do that AFTER I have had the chance to take you through the menu, take your order, and ensure that you have everything you need to enjoy your evening.
And I certainly don’t need the, “Five more minutes,” routine. Â You had five more minutes, 45 minutes ago. Â You wouldn’t tell the bank teller that you need more time when you’re at the window, so acknowledge your server’s presence and give them the five minutes that they need to take your order.
If that doesn’t happen, then I am going to start using Time Warner Cables method of giving you a time frame of when the order will be taken. Â From now on, your order will be taken between minutes 8 through minutes 35 of your arrival to the table. Â If you miss your window, you’ll have to make another reservation.
Until next time… Server’s don’t pay their rent with compliments.
“Bitter. Â Party of 1? Â Your table is ready.”